Yes, it's true. I'm now an ordained minister. Becoming ordained was a long and grueling process, and the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Ok, so perhaps that's a complete lie... Becoming ordained really wasn't any work at all, and it was the fulfillment of a whim, after being excommunicated from my church.
Seriously... they threw me out!
Here is an excerpt from the letter I received back in October:
Am I the only one that finds it odd that a church has a "Book of Discipline?"
Now I've been a member of that church since I was born. Admittedly, I haven't attended there in some years because I married a nice Catholic gal, and I think it's more important to go to church as a family than to stick to one specific "brand" of religion, so I go to a Catholic church with the fam. But whipping out the whole "book o' discipline" seemed a bit extreme.
I may not have the piety of a saint, and I'm far from being a perfect soul; but I am a God-fearing man and the idea of not being affiliated with a church troubled me somewhat. Although I do like the Catholic church we currently attend, I still have enough "issues" with much of the cannon of the Catholic church that I won't throw my lot in with that wacky bunch yet... my only reasonable recourse seemed to be to become a minister and start my own church! So here I am.. Rev. Eric W. Totel, at your service:
I don't yet have my "License to Perform Marriages" from the State of Ohio, but as soon as that comes, I'll be available to perform any marriages you might like to have me solemnize!
And, of course I'll be available to offer the same quality spiritual advice you've all come to expect from me!