Thursday, April 24, 2008

Social Locardism

I always try to be the dumbest person in my little circle of friends. Which isn't to say that I'm stupid; my friends are all just really, really, smart. I've always believed that surrounding myself with people dumber than me wasn't going to enrich my life much, and that hanging around and talking to really smart people might make me smarter through some sort of intellectual Locard's Exchange. I think I'll coin a new phrase here:

Social Locardism: The tendency of every individual to both bring and take intelligence from other individuals whenever two or more individuals come in contact.

Have you ever listened to some moron talk for a few minutes, only to leave the room feeling substantially dumber than when you arrived? Or, conversely, have you ever been in a room full of rocket scientists and felt just a little smarter after hanging around with them? THAT is Social Locardism at work, my friends.

So... to all the people I routinely share a beer, a laugh, or some chori-cheese with, thanks for propping me up intellectually.

To the others: stay away! Your stupid is rubbing off!

Gardening 101...err... I mean, Gardening 901

(First, let me issue a quick disclaimer: I greatly love and admire the two people I am about to poke fun at. But I can't help myself.)

First let me introduce my brother-in-law, Dave. Dave is a super-duper guy, and apparently has a double-sided, double-density brain, because he fits more "stuff" in between his ears than anyone I know. Dave graduated from AFIT. AFIT is where the Air Force sends all their nutty professor types. I took a class at AFIT a few years ago. I generally consider myself a relatively intelligent human being, but sitting in that classroom the first day I might as well have been a caveman in a particle physics class.

The other day while over at Dave's house for one of many cult-like Catholic celebrations we've been attending lately, Dave mentioned he had started a vegetable garden. It was a nice looking box garden, and I wish I would have snagged a picture to show you; but trust me, it was an OK garden by any measure. A short time later, while eating some cake and drinking all Dave's beer, someone (I think it was Scott)noticed a little packet of graph paper on the dining room table. I wasn't paying much attention until Scott, after leafing through the four or five page document, exclaimed, "These are plans for his GARDEN!" Now I don't know how many of you have gardens, or how much work you've put into them... but I'd be willing to wager that NONE of you has ever planned a garden like this. There were diagrams, formulas, charts, and a strange alpha cipher that when finally decoded seemed to indicate plant placement within the gardendown to the quarter inch!

I quickly grabbed my iPhone and began snapping pictures of the precious diagrams like Sandy Berger in the National Archives. I knew that no one would believe it if I described it, so here you go:

Who puts that kind of thought and planning into a garden? Certainly no one else I know, right?


Introducing really smart friend number two, Mike. As I went home and started jotting down my initial thoughts on this blog, I got sidetracked and pulled up Google Reader to see what blogs I needed to catch up on. I found this.

Hanging out with the Garden Professors is enough to make me feel like an inferior farmer. Oh well, time to get to tending MY garden:

Saturday, April 12, 2008


Everyone needs an iphone.

I've had mine for barely 48 hours and already can't get over how truly
cool and useful it really is.

As an example: I was just getting ready to knock off to bed a little
bit ago when Jolene called to tell me that she and Landon had found a
house that they want to buy. Jolene asked what I knew about the 'hood.

Still laying in bed wearing nothing but my boxers, I managed to
maintain my phone conversation wig Jolene while I also:

- looked up the address on google maps
- Checked out a very clear satellite image of the house and the
- Found out that the house was a bank repo that is being flipped.
- Checked the guy doing the flip for criminal convictions / business
- And even managed to find out the selling prices of some houses

All without putting my pants on, or even having to sit up!

Living in the future is cool!


Sent from my iPhone, cause I'm cool like that

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Why I only drink Russian Vodka

I love vodka, as all of my friends, and more than a few of my enemies can attest to. Absolut is ok when you can't get any actual vodka. Kind of like MGD is almost like beer when there isn't really any bier around.

The below ad from the Absolut people makes it easier for me to avoid Absolut in favor of tastier vodkas.

Here's the whole FOX article.

I always thought the Swedes were kind of weird, anyway. Proof below:

Proof #1

Proof #2

Proof #3

Proof #4

(Also, I must insist that you go back and actually watch at least one of the videos at the link in Proof #2. Seriously, I insist.)

Ahh... before I go to bed, I think I'll take a shot of that Imperia I have stashed away:

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Three weeks worth of grilling...

I haven't taken the time to sit down and write much, so we'll catch up real quick.

Pork chops with applewood smoke:

Shrimp and chicken chipotle tacos:

Flat iron steak, one chili-marinated, one garlic:

And, as I write this, I'm waiting on a pork loin rubbed with cumin, sea salt, brown sugar and cracked pepper... it smells absolutely amazing: