Wednesday, September 10, 2008

shut the hell up!

I know it's been quite a while since I sat down to write. As it turns out, this wonderful iPhone has a few drawbacks; one drawback being that by having a permanent, portable conduit to the Internet and to my email, I end up spending very little time sitting in front of my PC... Which is where I generally write. I'll try to do better, my many adoring fans deserve as much. I'm typing fast and on my phone, so I'll apologize for any typing and grammar problems ahead of time, as well as for any lack of continuity of, or organization of, thought.

On to the rant at hand.

I realized a minute ago while sitting in the waiting room at my wife's doctor's office that at some recent point in history, all manner of politeness, decency, and self discipline seems to have been thrown out the window. I'm sitting here listening to no less than three idiots talking on their cell phones loud enough that everyone in the lobby can hear every single word. While this is going on, there are two obnoxious toddlers running laps around the office trying for all they are worth to get the attention of their rude, inattentive parents. There are three or four members of The Greatest Generation sitting here, waiting on spouses or on their own appointments. So far I have learned:

1) that "Tracie" is mad at someone named "be-be" because apparently be-be is a "hoochy" and be-be committed some unknown transgression involving a sexual partner of Tracie's.
2) that "Nana" had a HUGE bowel obstruction, and that this was unusual, because apparently it's usually "all juice" whenever Nana sits on the pot.
3) that patrick is here for a colonoscopy, and that his bill from his last visit remains unpaid. If patrick doesn't pay by the 30th of this month, they are going to turn him over to collections.
4) that felicias sister or brother paulley had some sort of house or apartment fire recently and doesn't understand the difference between life insurance and fire insurance.
5) That felicias DP&L bill is past due
6) that felicia doesn't intend to skip meetin' tonight just because mamma had her proceedure today. Felicia intends to stop on the way home, buy mamma some church's chicken, drop mamma off, and get to meetin' on time.
7) that apparently felicia really likes Beyonce and doesn't have a vibration setting on her damn cell phone.
8) that nick doesn't "... Have the slightest idea what the meeting was about" and apparently has a secretary who is a complete, 100% idiot, because she's called nick four times in the last 30 minutes with apparently the same question about the meeting. Nick gets louder every time she calls, so I think he's getting a little pissed.
9) that chelsie is going to vote for Obama so that she can have health insurance "... Instead of this Medicaid." chelsie is, quite obviously, an idiot. I managed to resist pointing out that Medicaid IS socialized insurance, and that the current system can't be ALL that bad because chelsie is, afterall, being seen by the doctor today.
10) that chelsie just can't find anything that will give her inflamed hemmoroidal glands some relief.

Seriously people, shut the fuck up on your damn cell phones!! If you really think you are that important (and by my observations nick over there is the only one here with a job) step out in the hall a d carry on the conversation about your Nana's asshole in private. Also, leave your damn unruly hillbilly kids with the neighbor in the trailer next door when you know you are headed to a doctor's appointment that will take a couple hours.

I can't help but be ashamed for these idiots and wonder what these nice, classy, QUIET old people must be thinking about all this.

If it wasn't for this iPhone's ability to keep me quietly occupied, I'd have snapped by now.


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